Ten Things I Learnt About Sex from Russ Meyer

24 Jun

I’ve learnt a lot from Russ Meyer over the past eleven years, and no doubt there are a few of you out there who could do with learning a thing or two yourself. Filled with frequent mild adult content, but you wouldn’t expect anything less from me, I give you the Top Ten things I’ve learnt from the King of sexploitation himself. Agree? Disagree? Let me know!

1. Lesbianism always ends in tears.
It didn’t work out in Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and the lesbian couple in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls got murdered in the most phallic way of all; getting shot in the head via a gun blow job. Meyer himself even reduced actress Erica Gavin to tears filming the girl on girl scene for Vixen. It’s never worked out for me either.

2. Sex is always fantastic outside.
Need visual proof? Check out the outdoor fun the couples are having in Up!, Vixen and Good Morning and… Goodbye! Enough said.
3. Men love lashings of eyeliner and stockings on a woman.
Thanks to Meyer, I’ve never had any complaints. Men love something they can peel off a woman and who doesn’t like the look of bedroom eyes…?
4. Women think about sex just as much as men.
The biggest misconception in life is that men think about sex or are driven by it far more than women. Wrong. Thanks to characters like Varla (Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!), Sheila Ross (Common Law Cabin) and Ashley St. Ives (Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) I’m planning on making a career out of analysing it in cinema.  And that’s just the nicest way I could end this point…
5. Breast is best.
Meyer had the biggest breast fetish known to man and it influenced his whole career. He made sure he had everything on film from, in his own words, ‘small’ (Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) to ‘normal and relatable’ (Vixen) to ‘the biggest’ (Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens and Pandora Peaks). He even made one film strictly on the basis of dancers getting to show their talent and boobs, Mondo Topless.
6. Germans are perverts.
Being German myself, I already know this. If you need proof, just go and take a look at Hitler in Up! or Martin Bormann in Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens.
7. Sex can sometimes equal death.
One I’m hoping I never get involved in… Meyer could see the link between sex and death long before the slasher film made franchises out of it. Most violently seen in Supervixens but also Lorna, Motorpsycho, Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Up!
8. Fetishes are ridiculously fun.
Meyer knew that people liked to get off on different things. So whether its feet, body paint, outdoor fun, being spanked, leather, big boobs, domination, sadomasochism, same-sex, submission or kinky underwear, chances are there’s a scene in at least one Meyer film for you.
9. ‘Normal’ vanilla vaginal sex is great but sometimes only anal will do.
And if you don’t believe me, go and watch Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens.
10. Sex really does make the world go round.
If you didn’t realise it was everywhere before watching Meyer’s filmography then you bloody well will afterwards…

2 Responses to “Ten Things I Learnt About Sex from Russ Meyer”

  1. EFS March 11, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

    This is really shaping up to be THE Russ Meyer fan blog. I have been enjoying your extremely varied posts on the man and his movies.

    Also, wanted to share this bit of Meyer-related fun:

    • lydiarghgrace March 12, 2013 at 1:05 pm #

      Thank you very much for your kind words which really do mean a lot. I have tried to make all Meyer related posts as varied as possible, trying to shed some light on who he was outside of being a filmmaker and on the people he worked with. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated!

      And many thanks for the link, that may be reappearing at some point during this year’s MEYER MONTH… 😉

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