ON THE SURFACE – A small mining town in Canada learn about health and safety the hard way when a miner embarks on a revengeful killing spree in the local town.
SCRAPING THE BARREL – A small mining town in Canada learn that saying ‘I love you’ when you don’t really mean it hurts like a bitch. That’s right, My Bloody Valentine is about how karma comes to kick your ass into oblivion when you utter those three little words and don’t really mean it. Think I’m joking? It’s there right from the start. The film opens with a miner and beautiful girl getting down and dirty in the pit (he’s opened his heart, shes told him she loves him). She’s really only after his erection (admits she lied about loving him – look at how she fondles that gas mask of his!) and like anyone emotionally investing into a relationship he gets a bit pissy (he kills her). The same thing happens to an old man who tells a group of kids not to throw a party (tells them he loves them) and then gets killed after setting up a practical joke for them knowing that they’ll throw a party anyway (admits he was lying). Female character Sylvia’s past creeps up on her when she gets killed after being taunted by a number of hung up mining outfits (gets punished for telling everyone she’s ever slept with that she loves them). And if you weren’t convinced by all that then the ending spells it out for you very clearly. The killer is the boyfriend of the lead female character. Only, she doesn’t really love him, she’s in love with his best mate who she used to date until he left town. Except he’s returned and she realises she loves him. Lesson to be learnt? The only way to say ‘I love you’ is when you mean it. If you think you might blurt it out inappropriately during sex then maybe you should keep your knickers on instead. Or not. Your funeral.
London film club Cigarette Burns Cinema are showing My Bloody Valentine as part of the Lacerated Lovers double bill, alongside The Prowler aka Rosemary’s Killer, at The Prince Charles Cinema on October 26th. Tickets can be bought on the night (if there are any left) or online here!