Gravity’s Rainbow – Willy Roe’s ‘Confessions From The David Galaxy Affair’ (1979)

8 Aug

Teaming up again with director Willy Roe (Playbirds), producer and porn mag mogul David Sullivan released Confessions From The David Galaxy Affair onto the British public in 1979. Starring the ever popular and bankable pornography model and personality Mary Millington (this would be her third film collaboration with Sullivan), the feature also starred Rosemary England (aka Jada Smith) and a whole heap of actors from across Britain’s film (Diana Dors, Anothony Booth) and television (Glynn Edwards, Kenny Lynch) comedy board.

The film see’s playboy astrologer David Galaxy (Alan Lake) having to provide the police with an alibi for a robbery that took place five years earlier. Along the way we get to meet his clientle of bed conquests, including a high society gal who’s never had an orgasm (Millington), a secretive MP and a busty beauty queen (England). Things don’t quite go to plan for Galaxy and he’s eventually sent to prison at the end of the film. Not necessarily a bad thing as Galaxy is a narcissistic pig of a character who is impossible to like.

And that’s, sadly, pretty much it. Advertised as being ‘nearly two hours of non-stop porno’, there’s actually not an awful lot to Confessions in both story or sex (it is a British sex film, obviously I was keeping tabs on the raunchy stuff) but it’s a damn sight better than earlier release Playbirds which was a successful, if not entirely dire, film. Sadly for Sullivan, the public didn’t quite feel the same way as before. Clearly hoping for a hat trick of successes, Sullivan had to deal with a rapid tail off of box office takings after only a few days release. Millington was even called down to the Eros Cinema in Piccadilly Circus (where the film had premiered) to do urgent photo calls for publicity boosting but the film only lasted two months, a massive disappointment considering the success of Sullivan’s Come Play With Me. The film was even re-titled and re-released in 1980 under Star Sex in a bid to capitalise on Millington’s death and recoup some of the budget. Not even the connotations to the very successful Confessions of… franchise in the original title could draw in an audience, the new title fared no differently.

Which is a shame because the film is a bit of a rough gem. Alan Lake is manically fantastic as David Galaxy (probably due to being drunk on set), clearly enjoying himself in a role which was made for him. Tigon, the pictures distributer, heavily publicised Lake’s role in the film in a big to appeal to a female audience as well, but Lake is hardly beefcake material. Millington is however as wooden as ever. Whilst she is certainly better in this then she is in Come Play With Me, the lady was never going to be an actress no matter how hard she tried. Having said that, there is a slither of promise in her performance. If she hadn’t died, who knows where she would have gone with it. Sullivan’s new protegé Rosemary England is beautiful, lighting up every shot and giving a relaxed role. A real life successful beauty queen, the film see’s her taking on the role of a booby queen so to speak. England was Sullivan’s new ‘it’ girl for his magazines and frequently appeared alongside Millington in photo shoots, although disappointingly here neither share a scene. The rest of the cast fair relatively well, including veteran actress Diana Dors (Lake’s real-life wife and this time singing the film’s title track), Anthony Booth (who went on to become a close friend of Millington), Queenie Watts and Bernie Winters. Whilst not as bad as Playbirds, there are certainly more films that are far better then Confessions From The David Galaxy Affair. Completest Millington fans should seek it out, lovers of British sex films should stick to more enjoyable titles.

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