About Sex, But Not – ‘Splash’ (1984)

2 Oct

ON THE SURFACE – A man finally finds true love with a mermaid.

SCRAPING THE BARREL – A man finally finds true love with a girl who’s into water sports as much as he is. Relationships can be a lot of fun but sometimes require a certain amount of tolerance when it comes to bedroom shenanigans. You might be with someone who’ll indulge in your kinks every now and then but it’s always a bit more fun when you’re both into the same thing. Inhibitions completely lost and all that jazz… Alan (Tom Hanks) has recently broken up with Gloria, and although they ‘had everything’, he never really loved her. No, Gloria could never really accept Alan’s insistence on  sexy water play, an interest he’s had since a significant childhood event (nearly drowning). Enter Madison (Daryl Hannah), a woman full of life and in possession of an open mind, something Gloria never had. For Madison like it all; streaking (all that nudity!), experimenting with gender roles (wearing Alan’s clothes), sound games (trying to keep quiet for a whole sex session) and of course wet room activities (the girls a mermaid!). Like any new relationship it takes a bit of time to adjust to a new person and Alan and Madison are no different. They’re scared of opening up to each other (the bathroom scene where Alan has to break the door down, Madison hiding her secret) and worried about being humiliated (Madison getting sprayed with water in public in front of the press) but at the end of the day neither of them have to worry. In the most fairytale ending kind of way, they’re made for each other (she buys him a fountain! He follows her to mermaid land!). Proof that there’s someone out there in the world for everyone, no matter what their kink.

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